Dead Guy Writes Own Obituary, and It's Awesome

At first glance, John E. "Jack"
Holden's obituary doesn't seem very ...
respectful. Referring to Holden's death as
"taking the Deep Six," it also claims the WWII
veteran won "the Distinguished Fleeing Cross
for avoiding numerous women who were
seeking child support under unproven
circumstances" and that, after the death of his
wife of 61 years, he "had a number of other
wives, none of which were his." Then you get
to the end: "Jack Holden wrote this obituary
several years ago."
The charming piece, which appears on
Lancaster Online , notes that Holden's life was
"filled with endless laughter and debauchery,"
and adds that his four children "managed to
survive despite being related to their father."
We recommend you to read the whole story

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