Wow, talk about bad manners! This is a post by emily,
Emily Post turn in her grave. The reader,
Tanya, told us about a recent Facebook
message she received from a bride after
attending her wedding last month. In the
message, the bride expressed her
dissatisfaction with the $100 wedding gift she
received from Tanya and her date. You can
read the message for yourself below, but we
must warn you: Your blood WILL boil.
Last weekend I attended a wedding of a not-
close friend with my boyfriend and as a gift we
gave $100 cash. This was generous considering
my financial situation. I just finished university
with $40,000 in student loans, and have only
found part time (12-18 hrs per week)
minimum wage work. I gave as much as I
could and attended to show my support.Today
I received a rude and condescending message
from the bride via Facebook messenger: “Hi
Tanya, how are you? I just want to know is
there any reason or dissatisfaction of Mike’s
and I wedding that both you and Phil gave 50$
each? In terms of the amount we got from you
both was very unexpected as a result we were
very much short on paying off the reception
because just for the cocktail + reception alone
the plate per person is 200$ (as per a normal
wedding range with open bar is about) and
Mike and I both have already paid for
everything else including decor, photography,
attire etc and didn’t expect we had to cover
that huge amount for reception as well. As I
know you both live together and work, so I did
not see any reason for that amount, when it
comes to your wedding hopefully you’ll know
what I mean. I hope for the best as from what
we receive is what we will give back. Anyways,
good luck on everything.”
It’s infuriating that she had the nerve to make
assumptions about my finances, and assume
that I or my boyfriend had an extra $400 lying
around. Those $100 were hard-earned and she
didn’t show an ounce of gratitude for what she
did receive. That money didn’t grow on a tree.
If she had a minimum gift requirement, she
should have specified it…or asked everyone for
income statements before inviting them.
Celebrity wedding planner and HuffPost
Weddings blogger Sharon Sacks weighed in on
the matter, calling this “an inappropriate
response to a wedding gift.”
“Weddings are a wonderful time to share with
family and friends,” she wrote in an email to
The Huffington Post. “The expense and the cost
of the wedding is solely the responsibility of
the bride, groom, and their families, and never
the people who are attending. I think people
give with their heart and do the best that they
can. I would hope that any bride and groom
would understand.“
Wedding etiquette expert and HuffPost blogger
Xochitl Gonzalez also commented on the
Facebook message, saying that it’s one of the
most classless stories she’s ever heard.
“There is no obligation of a guest to give a gift
to a party to which they are invited, not even
a wedding,” she wrote in an email. “Though not
required, it is a very nice thing to do, but
there is certainly no base guideline for what
you should give AND finally, it’s certainly
outrageous to question the amount, let alone
the gift (i.e. the guy whogave the couple a gift
basket and they freaked out). There is a
disgusting trend emerging where people are
not only passing judgment about the gifts they
receive, but they are verbalizing it — even on
the Bravo show ‘Newlyweds,’ they showed one
of the grooms mocking guests on TV for being
‘cheap with gifts.’ It’s classless and tacky.”
This is dummy text. It is not meant to be read. Accordingly, it is difficult to figure out when to end it. But then, this is dummy text. It is not meant to be read. Period.
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